I can’t tolerate her cries anymore. I can’t withstand even momentary trouble happening to my Sarah. How can she bear the labor pain? More than her pain, I have always agonized over whether Sarah will hate me, once she has to go through labor pain. With little option left to help, I placed myself in a chair outside the labor room.
Brian and I got married after two years of dating. It was tough for Brian’s family initially, but somehow we convinced them. Later we were blessed with Sarah, through a lot of complications. I still remember the day Sarah was born, a little angel covered in red fell into my bare hands.
Days passed by and my affection for Sarah increased day by day. The only thing which worried us was how to answer Sarah when she realized her family was different. But Sarah never asked anything about this, though she might have had many questions from her friends.
One day in her teens, after back from school, she opened up.
“Mamma, today in biology we were taught how a baby is born” Sarah’s gaze went down, her voice low.
This was a much-expected scene, which I and Brian knew we had to face at some point in time. Sarah remained silent.
“Sarah look, my dear” I knew I had to make it easy for her, though it was difficult for me.
“I’m a trans woman, but I fell in love with your daddy. And we wanted a baby like you. I understand your question, without a woman how were you born? Isn’t it”
She had a long exhale in agreement.
I hugged her and brushed her hair to continue, “Since I couldn’t have an egg for a baby, my sister, i.e. Laura Aunty came to help. She was ready to donate her egg. And daddy’s sperm was collected to make a baby. As you again know, it needs a womb to carry a baby. That is when Brian’s mamma, i.e. granny pitched in saying she was ready to give birth again. So the doctor placed my baby inside granny’s tummy. Your granny gave birth to you.”
“Your birth is special with three mothers involved.”
I continued, “ I was bearing you in my heart longingly for nine months. Those tiny blue eyes looked at me for the first time, to open the doors of motherhood in me. I remained topless to hold you close to my chest, my love flowed into you. Ever since you have been my best friend.”
She smiled and hugged me tight that day.
“It’s a baby girl, Sarah wanted to meet her mother.” A nurse came and called me in.
“Mamma” Sarah took my hands. “At the end of all this pain, I feel that unconditional love for my baby. I feel more related to you now. I feel like you.”
I wiped my tears of joy. Sarah smiled and hugged me tight again today.
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Previously published in Penmancy : https://penmancy.com/bond-beyond-a-title/
